Recently at a meeting, the 2nd step came up as a topic. The wording of the step, “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,” came up as a point of discussion. The tense of the phrase, “came to believe,” was compared to the direct nature of the past tense wording in the other steps: “Admitted.” “Made a decision.” “Were entirely ready,” and so on and so forth. The importance of this wording in the 2nd step, and how it indicates the process of coming to believe, instead of just saying “believed,” was discussed.
The way the 2nd step is worded communicates how a relationship with a higher power is an ongoing process. The second half of the 2nd step, “could restore us to sanity,” is even more important for me at this time, as I continue to struggle with self-reliance. I had someone mention to me once that “sanity” is not as much about those commonly touted sayings about how “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results,” or an indication of the chaos of the disease. They described how true insanity is thinking that I can do recovery on my own.
I know that my disease is always telling me that I can handle situations on my own, without a higher power. My disease is on a daily mission to convince me that I can do this on my own, and that is pretty insane at this point in my life. It is indeed an ongoing process, and not something past tense, that I believe that I can do this on my own. I need a higher power, and the help of others, for this process to continue. Today, I am grateful to know that the 2nd step is not something that is “past tense.” It is a belief that I must continue to invest in and practice.