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My Little Negativity Generator by John B

I am afraid of my brain; I have good reason to fear it, too.  You see, my brain is very much like a computer, it can be used for good, or evil….. and I am the programmer!

This is not good news because I naturally lean toward negativity and disaster.  And I am really good at projecting bad outcomes and worrying about things that may never happen.  I love depression and anxiety, and fear I am hopelessly  addicted to fear!  I have had imaginary conversations with people I have never met, about things that never happened!   And then there are the “dark days” when all I do is feel like running away and hiding, or worse….

Here is the default setting for my brain: “we are screwed!  It’s no good, it will never work, they hate you, don’t tell anyone!  let’s drive to Las Vegas…..”  If I don’t continually make the effort to change that default, I will have a bad result.

Sometimes I forget that I have to continually put in positive programming such as this: “acceptance is the answer”, and “I am powerless over people, places, things” or ” there really are people like me at meetings” and “my sponsor is there to help me”.  If I don’t my “bad brain” goes back to manufacturing misery.

All this really wouldn’t make one bit of difference if I lived in a cave.  See, I actually ENJOY manufacturing my own misery sometimes; I am quite good at it, too.  The problem is that I tend to inflict my bad attitudes on others…

I have the power to create a bad day, and need NO help to do THAT, thank you very much; or I can create a good day.  But for that I need all the help I can get!!

I can’t do this by myself!

Next Up:  “When oh when are they going to recognize ME for all my exceptional abilities?”