I am afraid of my brain; I have good reason to fear it, too. You see, my brain is very much like a computer, it can be used for good, or evil….. and I am the programmer!
This is not good news because I naturally lean toward negativity and disaster. And I am really good at projecting bad outcomes and worrying about things that may never happen. I love depression and anxiety, and fear I am hopelessly addicted to fear! I have had imaginary conversations with people I have never met, about things that never happened! And then there are the “dark days” when all I do is feel like running away and hiding, or worse….
Here is the default setting for my brain: “we are screwed! It’s no good, it will never work, they hate you, don’t tell anyone! let’s drive to Las Vegas…..” If I don’t continually make the effort to change that default, I will have a bad result.
Sometimes I forget that I have to continually put in positive programming such as this: “acceptance is the answer”, and “I am powerless over people, places, things” or ” there really are people like me at meetings” and “my sponsor is there to help me”. If I don’t my “bad brain” goes back to manufacturing misery.
All this really wouldn’t make one bit of difference if I lived in a cave. See, I actually ENJOY manufacturing my own misery sometimes; I am quite good at it, too. The problem is that I tend to inflict my bad attitudes on others…
I have the power to create a bad day, and need NO help to do THAT, thank you very much; or I can create a good day. But for that I need all the help I can get!!
I can’t do this by myself!
Next Up: “When oh when are they going to recognize ME for all my exceptional abilities?”