My definition of fun, now that I am in recovery, is completely different than when I was using. When I was using I was staying up late, going to bars and clubs, and not remembering the night before. That was my idea of fun. Truthfully, it was not. Eventually my using became less social, less fun and became a full-time job. At that time I was living on the streets and homeless. I was waking up every day just to get one more. It was misery.
When I got clean, I thought my life was over. Gone were the days of having fun with friends and being social. I thought I would never do anything fun again because I would always be busy with my recovery. I had to open my mind. I had to work the steps and take suggestions. I was re-wiring my brain to realize that using was not fun. There was no part of it that was fun. It only ends in jails, institutions, or worse for me.
5 years later, I have more fun in recovery than I have had in my entire life. I never thought my life would be as full as it is now. I have done things I never thought possible. I went to Antigua in the Caribbean for my best friend’s wedding and I was able to be present, supportive and clean during the trip. I get to spend time with my nephew who I love so much and he gets to grow up and never see his Tio high on drugs. I have been to so many concerts in the last 5 years. I usually go alone because I enjoy it so much just me and the music. I am involved in so many activities and pastimes with my friends. We love to go ice skating in the winter, go to the beach for the weekend (anytime really because we live in Florida), and take lots of random road trips. I can say that my life is very full today and I am having a lot of fun. More fun than I thought was possible. I owe it all to recovery.
