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Client Quotes…(You Can’t Make this Stuff Up)… By Mike H

Client:   I don’t think I need to stay at a half-way house after treatment.
Therapist:  Why not?
Client:  My boyfriend has an apartment that’s about half way between here and my job.

Client:  I am not in denial – I am not an alcoholic.
Therapist:  How do you explain 3 DUI’s?
Client:  Easy.  All the guys I work with stop for drinks after work just like I do.  None of them have ever gotten a DUI.
Therapist:  Your point?
Client:  Don’t you get it, man?  I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just unlucky.

Therapist:  When are you going to get honest with your peers about your using history?
Client:  Probably never – I have trust issues with these people.
Therapist:  You have trust issues?  Someone who admits they will meet a complete stranger, in the worst part of town, at 2:00 in the morning, to give him $200 for drugs that could be anything, to put in your body?
Client:  That’s different.

Client:  I’m really happy to be in treatment – I picked up my 30 day chip last night.
Therapist:  You said you had a problem?
Client:  Well, yeah.  When do we get a break from all this recovery stuff?

Client:  All right, all right.  I’ll read the pamphlet on Codependency – when I get a chance.  Right now I’ve got to help my roommate write her life story and talk to my sister, who needs help with her boyfriend.
Therapist:  (God, grant me……)

Client:   Well, I did it, I got totally honest with my wife about my drinking the problems it has caused me.
Therapist:  When did this happen?
Client:  Sunday, on visitor’s day, I told her almost everything.

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