“Monday, Monday! Just hate that day…”
Peter, Paul and Mary
It’s Tuesday, which means I survived another “post weekend return to work day”, as I like to call it …Monday. It is the single most difficult day of the week for me. And the reason is that on Mondays I have to change gears, put my game face on and go back to being “Customer Service man”, with a smile in my voice, and a good attitude! “Thank you for calling (insert company name here) ….. this is John, how can I help you?” …
In other words, I have to pretend to be normal.
I even hate the WORD Monday. Can we call it Tuesday eve or something? To me, the word even SOUNDS gray, cold and rainy; it sounds like dampness that has settled deep in my bones. And it feels like depression, with a side order of anxiety, please. Ooooh, yummy!
So, it’s kind of handy, shall we say to have sort of “go to” defense, some sort of ….dare I say it…….”program” from which to work? I don’t know.
So, here is what happened:
Last Friday, I received what I call a punch in the stomach from the universe. Did NOT see it coming, was NOT EVEN ready for it! My first reaction on these type of assaults is to OVER REACT, hunker down. Enjoy! Have an nice emotional and if possible, nuclear, melt-down. Think Three-Mile Island, Chernobyl or that one in Japan…. Go big or go home, I say….
Anyway, as a result of choosing to do this, (yes, I chose it) I had myself a horrible little weekend! Ruined several relationships. Spent it mostly descending deeper into madness, unable to stop myself, my character defects bristling. Chock full of anger and fear, I proceeded as if nothing were amiss! And the worst part? I had no clue how to rescue myself. None at all. All program knowledge was temporarily inaccessible; I was on a dry drunk.
However, as I am fond of saying in meetings, my only saving grace at times is that I keep going to meetings; even when I am N-U-T-Z-O. Luckily for me, it’s a habit.
So, I showed up at my regular Monday AA meeting. Good day to go to a meeting, Monday. As it happens, this particular meeting format is “As Bill Sees It”, (I always think it should be called “As Bill SAW It”! I never seem to get tired of that joke!)
All of a sudden I see this : …”a spot check inventory, taken during times of distress can help….” WAIT just a dang minute! What? A spot check inventory, you say…?
So, I just wanted to say…I tried it, it worked, and everything is OK now! Yay!
Oh! And sorry to everyone I offended! Obviously, humility is my short suit, but that’s another story……