It’s Monday, and I always have an opportunity to work my program, with black belt efficiency or not, on a Monday. I’ve said in the past that if I ever relapsed, it would be on a Monday. I have an aversion to the day. When I was drinking, I rarely ever saw a Monday. Anyways, back to reality. I need to make sure I start each day by reading my meditation books, followed by a prayer to my Higher Power that includes the quick run-through of the first three Steps. The first Step, I am powerless, has many more items listed than just alcohol. Over the years things seem to get added. Recovery becomes interesting after you are sober awhile. I become more and more aware of character defects that I’m still dragging with me that need to be removed. So as a result, I still need to keep working my program like I am a newcomer. Meetings, sponsorship, service work and working with another alcoholic are the first order of business to maintain my emotional sobriety.
Sometimes there are additional things that need to happen to maintain emotional sobriety. Like finding my business and minding it. Knowing where I stop and you start. Do I want to be right or happy? I cannot tell you how many times I have chosen to be “RIGHT” instead of happy. The “RIGHT” choice has a whole special inventory dynamic that involves more journaling, character-defect inspection by me and my sponsor, extra meetings, and several phone calls with trusted friends in recovery, and a mega dose of prayers to my Higher Power. After all of that and becoming willing to see my part, generally an amends will take place. Not sure “RIGHT” was worth it. Letting go and being happy is so much easier. So I am halfway through Monday and I have survived, and so have the people around me; no amends to make at this time. Yea me! (Let’s not get over-confident).