My sponsor once told me that fear, like any other gift, is essential and if used properly can be the spiritual connection to guide me in living life on life terms.
In any meeting, people often express “fear” as a negative feeling that only hinders their recovery. I had so much of it in my life, I thought, “Oh God, I am doomed.” I was afraid of everything and everybody.
But my sponsor pointed out that fear sometimes alerts us to danger. It can also rally me to action when threatened or needing to move, make a decision.
Fear can guide me to seek new friends in recovery and turn away from those who would cause me harm, or return to my addiction. Fear can move me to practice the Steps because I don’t want to repeat the life I once lived.
Negative fear is easy to sight; it whispers thoughts of doubt, regrets, envy, resentment. I know that when what I’m feeling is heavy, it’s usually negative fear. But when I am putting on my “Big Boy Pants” and moving and feel exhilarated, it usually is positive fear that is rallying me to action, to move, to speak, even dance and not care how I look.
I no longer battle fear; it is a thing of the past. I now try to handle fear, embrace fear, as I embrace gratitude, love, learning, to navigate living life on life terms. This is a lifelong endeavor, I know, but I am worth it today; I am up for the challenge.
I try to embrace all gifts from my Higher Power. Learning to get the most benefit from them can be rewarding and exciting.