So I had this moment the other day. It had only been a couple of weeks since I had stopped working my program, and I was feeling pretty squirrelly. I’m always surprised when this happens, of course. I usually have no idea what is going on. Why do I feel so uncomfortable, I think. Am I getting the flu? Did I get some bad meds? Not enough sleep? What? The thing is, being in recovery and working a program is like dog paddling around in the ocean; it takes some effort. If you don’t believe me, try it sometime. Dog paddling, I mean.
Occasionally, my arms get tired so I stop paddling turn over on my back and try to float there and rest. This works OK for a while, but then the water gets choppy. Still, I keep trying to float. Then somehow I get turned around so my feet are facing toward the waves. Then water begins to wash over me and go up my nose. Very soon after that, it feels as though I am being water-boarded at Guantanamo!
Guess what? It’s time to turn (it) over and start paddling again! This is usually when I panic, and begin to dog-paddle my little heart out. Grab a pen, write, call people, go to meetings, pray, share!
Then, a miracle happens. Like magic, I am relieved of the “bondage of self”!Hey, if you don’t believe me, you could try it.