Real Recovery started when I finally got honest with myself and stopped blaming others, mainly my mother and husband. My journey began with an intervention on my mother and her drinking. We had to go to some recovery group so I went to Al-anon for a while. Then Adult Children! Both were good places to hide because if I could blame her I didn’t have to look at myself.
My husband was confronted about his drinking and eventually went to AA. Thank God he had a strong sponsor who said “I don’t want to hear about her (mine) drinking”. It gave me the opportunity to get more miserable. I felt alone and that no one understood. If he or my mother would just shape up I’d be OK. But here I was feeling confused and depressed. After a prayer meeting (doesn’t everyone think more prayer will be the answer) a friend asked me why I was so negative and depressed on occasion (like all the time). So, that night as I lay in bed I asked God what was wrong with me, no ifs, ands or buts. I wanted a confirmation and I wanted to know what He wanted me to do with my life! Amen! Goodnight!!!
Later that night God said to me, “Mary you are an alcoholic”! I said maybe it was a hormone problem. He said, “Mary you are an alcoholic”. I said maybe I’m having a nervous breakdown. He said, “Mary you are an alcoholic”! I finally accepted what He said. I felt His peace finally. The next morning at church the readings were “You came to me in the night and I answered your prayer” and “Ask, Seek and Knock!” I raised my hand and knew what I heard in the night was the truth.
What did He want me to do with my life? He said “Stay where you are and I’ll send you people.” Over the years I’d be asked to talk to some lady about hers or her husband’s drinking. Someone would call in and I got the feeling that alcohol might be the problem. I even went to Gam-anon when two friends confessed their husbands had a problem with gambling.
Through AA and over the years I have had the wonder of carrying the message as God had said “I will send you people.
BUT first you have to get honest!