My treatment center had faith in me even when I didn’t think they did, and it seemed they wanted me out of the facility when I had no idea what I had done. Two times my counselor did miraculous things in helping me realize what I had not before. Mind you, I’d been to two other inpatient treatment centers prior. I also give great thanks for trauma group; it revived my life and released huge boulders off my back.
At the time I had to do what I thought were crazy things, like jumping through hoops, getting in trouble when I didn’t understand why and sometimes did understand why. But I was desperate, desperate enough to do what I was told, every day, even when I thought I wanted to give up. I have to give huge thanks to the house managers, too, all of them, and special thanks to several house managers for educating me almost as much as every other part of treatment and for being there for me; and the therapists have a special place in my heart, too!
Now, almost two years later, I carry all of Turning Point of Tampa with me every day. Though recovery didn’t turn my life into rainbows and butterflies, I wouldn’t trade it for the old one. My new life is much more fulfilling, and in crisis I turn to my higher power which I chose to call God and pray, reach out to our people and talk; and most importantly, when I’m not in crisis situations, I still pray many times a day and always remember to give thanks as well, not just for what I need. Although I wish that relationships, trust and the other wreckages of my past would heal quicker, I have faith that they will in God’s time; and until then, I have a healthy, very smart, gorgeous 3-year-old boy, the love of my life, who helps keep my eye on the prize! And until my goals and dreams come true one day, I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. Until then, “Thy will, not mine, be done.”
P.S. If you slip in your recovery, do not be afraid to grab the hands of others and let them pull you back into the rooms, hopefully sooner rather than later. Don’t let that ego get in the way, because if you do make it back, you are one of the lucky ones!