11 years ago I went to treatment. 11 years ago I didn’t know what the hell I was getting myself into, but what I did know was that I needed help to stop using drugs. What has transpired over the last decade has been nothing short of a miracle.
I could write a book about the ups and downs of recovery. I am sure we all feel that way. No one ever said this would be easy, but a lot of people said it would be simple. I am grateful for the people who walked this road before me. I am grateful that I “get to” go on this journey with others. By myself, I would still be standing at the fork, wondering which way to go.
Every year on my anniversary I reflect on the past year. Each time the memories are different. I have put myself through some serious crap over the years, but I wouldn’t change any of it today. Everyone I have met, every decision I have made, every action I took, has led me to this place. And it’s a pretty damn good place.
I made a decision a long time ago that using was not an option for me, no matter what. Not if my dog died, not if I got fired, not if I couldn’t get out of debt. I simply took using out of the equation. I forced myself to find other ways to cope. One day at a time I learned how to live life on life’s terms, without the use of drugs.
Today is my anniversary. I have been clean for 4,018 days. I have a lot to be grateful for. But if I forget where I came from, my clean date will change. Just for today, I think I’ll stay clean.
